Finger Fucker

The other night my friend Wendy and I went to have middle eastern food at Moustache in the Village. The restaurant is very tiny so the tables are very close to each other. You can hear other people's conversations. As New Yorkers we put up with so much shit for good food. I know I do.

Wendy and I got our usual menu of labneh, ouzi, zahtar pizza, and Wendy's fucked up concoction of a salad that consists of chicken and lettuce (NO TOMATOES, NO ONIONS, NO CUCUMBERS)!

Our food came and we started eating. There was a group sitting at the table next to us. The woman who was sitting closer to Wendy started pointing at our food. She was pointing so aggressively that her finger was almost underneath Wen's nose. The woman kept on pointing and describing the food to the people at her table. At one point her finger almost took a dive in my labneh. I lost my shit and told her "excuse me, can you not finger fuck my food please! You have crossed the border into our table several times and your finger has taken a dive into my food. Stop that shit!" Don't mess with me when it comes to food. I'm a biggity big voluptuous woman.